Stupid
by bandgrad2008
Summary: Things aren't the way they were before, all because I was stupid. Cam.
1. Late Night Shock

**Disclaimer: I wish.**

**A/N: For lack of better title...here's a story (not a one-shot anymore), inspired from some actual events, including last night. About 80% of this actually happened, the other 20% is changed to fit. I didn't get much sleep last night, so you know, just bear with it. **

**Alright, people who have already read this or reviewed or anything, I changed my mind. I can see this story going on (not because you'd like to see it go on, but because even _I _want to see what happens). **

Chapter 1

I was stupid to stay up dusk until beyond dawn, night after night and day after day, expecting her to call or for her to walk through the front door. I was stupid to think that she would ever want to come back to me. I was stupid to think that things would be okay, after I completely made a fool of myself at that party, in front of everyone. I was stupid to want anything more than I already had, to steal her from whomever I didn't want her to be with. I was stupid to wonder what it would be like, if it was only the two of us, that nothing could come between us. I was stupid to think it would ever happen. I was stupid to ever care. I was so fucking stupid.

I've been waiting for six months. Despite what people think of me, I don't skip classes anymore. Ever since _she_ stopped talking to me, I've been focusing on school. Something has to get my mind off of her. Of course, it doesn't help that she goes to the same school and that we have more than half of our classes together. If it was hard for me to concentrate before, it's ten times worse. Freddie doesn't know what to do anymore, the way he always looks at me and then at her. I don't think he fully understands what happened, but he hasn't confronted me about it. I guess he's waiting for the storm to pass.

I don't know why he chose to sit with me at lunch, out of the entire school population, and yet he didn't say a word. Across the cafeteria, I saw _her_ and her boyfriend, sitting in silence while they ate. It's not that I don't want her to be happy, I do, but when she completely pushes me off to the side to spend time with him, it just really hurts. No guy should ever come between us, and that's exactly what's happened. And I think that Freddie suspects that's what happened, although I'm sure he should _know_ what happened. He was at the party too.

Freddie walked me home after school. It's been six months since I stepped foot into Bushwell Plaza, and I'm not going back. "Do you want to come in?" I asked him. He shrugged and followed me up to my floor, dropping his backpack in my room. With my mother and her random guests, he knew better than to leave his possessions out in the open. I tossed him a root beer from the fridge and grab my spare sheet and a blanket from my bedroom. Tossing the sheet over the couch, I told him to sit and lounged next to him, the blanket thrown over us.

"What happened between you and Carly?" I knew he would ask sometime, but I was hoping it wouldn't be now, not when I was trying to forget about her. I shrugged and tried to watch the TV but he won't let me off that easily. "Come on, Sam. You and Carly used to be…" I cut him off with my hand over his mouth.

"I don't want to talk about _her_," I snapped. And it's partially true. I just want to forget her, and move on with my life. She's chosen and I have to accept it. "If that's all you came over here for, you can just leave right now." He took my hand in his. "Watch it, Benson," I warned. He sighed and let go of it, turning his attention back to the TV. "You were at the party. I thought you would already know." He shook his head. "We had a fight, one that obviously didn't end well. She decided _some boy_ was more important than everything we had ever been through, and then I…" I paused and looked at him. "Have you even asked her what happened? I thought you were _in love_ with her."

He rolled his eyes. "I got over that a long time ago, Sam. And I don't like her boyfriend anymore than you do. Ever since the party, she's been drinking and getting high and it's total bullshit. She's not the same, and I…I haven't talked to her since. I'm surprised you haven't even asked me why I sit at lunch with you or walk you home. I mean, I have other friends, but you've been my friend the longest, aside from Carly, and I'm not going to…"

"Do you have to give me a speech, Benson?" He rolled his eyes and the phone rings. And some tiny part of me wants it to be Carly, but the chances of that are slimmer than none. I ignore my phone, since it's Melanie instead, and turn the TV off. "Talk to Carly. Find out her side, and then I'll tell you the rest of mine." He sighed and grabbed his bag from my room before leaving.

A few nights later, it's different, though. I haven't slept in so long, but that's nothing new. What _is_ new is my window opening by a person dressed in black jeans and a black jacket, hood covering their face. If I didn't recognize the jacket and the size of the figure, I would have beaten them to death. But I'd never _ever_ hit her. Hell, I couldn't even fucking move. She raised her face, her eyes meeting mine in the darkness, and I just want to know why the hell she's breaking into my bedroom. She's panting, as if she had run all the way here, and I grab the inhaler from my bedside table drawer, tossing it to her. Spencer gave me a spare just in case something ever happened when his sister was over here.

"Sam…" she gasped and I slid out of bed, standing a few feet away from her. Even from where I stood, I could smell the pot and the alcohol on her, and I knew she had just come from a party. But when she pushed her hood back, my heart stopped. Is it possible to die for a few seconds? I think I just did. "Sam…" she whispered this time, but I couldn't move. She fell to her knees and sobbed. That kicked my legs into gear and I knelt in front of her, holding her to me. Her arms wrapped around my waist, where they belonged after all of these months. I stroked her hair, burying my face in her neck, nearly choking on the stench, but it didn't matter. Carly was here.

"What happened, Carls?" I asked her. She could only sob in my shoulder, about how she'd been at the latest party and was having a good time, until _he_ had tried to force himself on her. He had beaten her, and she had run away, straight here without stopping. If she wasn't holding me so tight, I would have gone after him and ripped him apart.

Eventually she stopped crying and I picked her up and carried her to my bathroom. Sitting her on the toilet, I unzipped her jacket and pushed it off of her shoulders, helping her take it off. She winced when she moved her arms and I examined them when the jacket was all the way off of her. She had bruises around her wrists, where he had held them tight, and little fingerprint-sized marks trailed up her arms. I reached for the hem of her shirt and her eyes widened. She was terrified. "Sam…"

"Carly, I need to see everything he did to you." I knew she was terrified because _he _had done this to her, and that she was scared that I would freak out. There might have been the uncomfortable feeling of _me_ seeing her because…well, there's a reason I kissed her at that party. If he had "cared" about her for the six months they were together and then he did this to her, how could she be sure I wouldn't do the same? "Do you want me to leave and let you look?" She shook her head vigorously and yelped. I raised my brow and looked at her neck for the first time. He had tried to strangle her. My hands tightened into fists at the hem of her shirt and she shook her head again, slower this time, her hands on my shoulders. "Carly…did he…did you get away _before_…?" She nodded and I sighed. Thank God for that. I let go of her shirt, but she grabbed my hands.

"Sam…I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry for everything. The way I treated you at the party…you didn't deserve that. I…I let a guy get between us and look how it turned out. I'm so stupid, and I'm sorry." I shook my head and when she brought my hands back to her shirt, I raised my brow. "Please…I want you to." I closed my eyes, gently pulling her shirt up and over her head. When I was sure it was free of her, I tossed it on top of her jacket on the floor behind me. "Sam, you can look." I opened my eyes hesitantly and instantly I wanted to _kill_ _him_ for doing this to her. There were bruises and teeth marks across her chest and stomach, broken skin in a few places. The bastard needed to die.

I took her phone from her jeans pocket and she shook her head in protest. "I'm only taking pictures, Carly. You can tell the cops and show them your proof and they'll throw him in jail. You won't have to deal with him anymore." Tears were forming in her eyes, but she nodded anyway, and I took a lot of pictures of her battered body. Closing her phone, I slipped it back into her pocket. "I have to clean the bite marks," I told her. She nodded and watched as I grabbed the bottle of peroxide. With her fingernails digging into my shoulders after the first few cuts I cleaned, I knew she was hurting. She bit her lip for the last few and I pulled away from her to put the peroxide away. Turning the knobs in the shower, I made sure the water wasn't too hot or too cold. "I'll go and find clothes for you while you clean up," I muttered and she grabbed my wrist as I passed.

"Thank you, Sam," she murmurs, pulling me into a hug. And as much as I'd love half-naked Carly right now, too much happened tonight to prevent me from being anything other than a blanket for the time being. I kissed her forehead and left the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I returned to my room, digging through my drawers for _clean_ clothes and found a shirt, underwear, and pajama bottoms for her. Stepping into the bathroom, I set the clothes on the toilet, along with a towel, and left the room before she noticed I was there.

An hour later, Carly finally emerged from the bathroom, drying her hair with the towel. I stood from where I had been lying at the edge of the bed and pulled the blanket back for her to lie down. "Do you need anything else, Carls? A glass of water, something to eat or anything?" She shook her head and climbed into the bed, and I covered her with the blanket. I reached for my other pillow, but she grabbed my wrist.

"Stay with me, please?" I sighed and nodded, slipping under the blanket from the other side of the bed. Before I could blink, she was curled up next to me, arm around my waist, and her head on my shoulder. "Sam, I…we need to talk." I shook my head, but she looked up at me with solid eyes before resting her head again. "That night at the party, things were said, and I…I didn't mean any of them. You were right, about all of it. I don't know why I got mixed up with stuff like that. I didn't…that stuff isn't me. I just wanted to try it and then after the party, after our fight, I wanted to forget about it, about everything that involved you." I opened my mouth to speak, but she held her finger to my lips. "I need to tell you this." She took a deep breath. "When you said that our friendship should have been more important than _some boy_, you were right. Relationships come and go, but your best friend is always going to be there. Well, not for the past six months for us, but you know what I mean. I wasn't happy at all. I mean, I was because I had a boyfriend and I was doing all right in school, but _you_ were missing. You and Freddie both. He tried to ask me what happened, you know, and I told him off, but I didn't mean it."

I looked down at her. "Carly, it's fine. I said some things that I'm not so proud of, and I wish I hadn't. I knew that having a boyfriend made you happy, and I'm sorry that I kissed you, hoping that you would forget about him and come back to me. I'm sorry that I was the stupid one and ruined our friendship like that."

She tilted her head back and kissed my neck. "We're both stupid," she muttered. I nodded and stared at the ceiling, wondering what the hell's going to happen now.


	2. The Monster Within

**Disclaimer: 4 more days, maybe? Please? No? Okay...**

**A/N: If you don't already know, I changed this from a one-shot to a multi-chapter story. **

**Alright, this has to be one of the hardest things I've written for a few reasons. One, I've been through what Carly went through. Numerous times. So some of this is...well, you know. Which brings me to another thing. After some of the reviews that you guys left, I realize I forgot to warn you that this story _will _be depressing. There won't be any more drug use, but there will be alcohol later on. **

**This chapter contains Carly's POV of the night and the next morning. And you have a choice. If you choose not to relive the events, then skip the italics. It will pick up where chapter 1 left off. **

**Thank you for reading.**

Chapter 2

Carly's POV

"_Come on, Carly, it will be fun."He told me, holding out the joint for me to take. I'd always been the straight girl, the one who never did drugs or drank alcohol, but I'd already done the both at every party I'd been to. I hated it, but I loved John and if he did it, maybe I should too. Okay, so maybe my thoughts were a little jumbled because of the booze, but it seemed like a good idea. So I sat there and got high and drunk and the next thing I knew I was being pinned to a bed and John was hurting me. He was biting me, too viciously to take pleasure in at all. He was gripping from my upper arms to my wrists so tight I was sure he was leaving marks, along with his teeth across my body, and I struggled against him. He hit me over and over until I felt like I was going to die._

_I wasn't drugged, I knew that much. He was just really strong. At some point he let go of my wrists to grab the waist of my jeans and I fought him. I didn't want this, not here, and not with him. His fingers closed around my throat and I clawed at both of his hands, trying to stop him. Thinking of what Sam would do in this situation, I kicked my knee up as hard I could, catching him in the groin, and he groaned, rolling off of me. _

_I ran. I sprinted out of there at full speed, past the drunk and high teenagers, out into the street and clear across town. My lungs were burning and I could feel my throat close up, but I couldn't stop. What if he was behind me? I climbed the fire escape of a familiar apartment building and opened the window of my destination. Climbing in, I looked across the room at the blonde I had been avoiding for so long. Why I had come here, I'll never know. _

_She reached somewhere and tossed me an old inhaler, and I tried to control my breathing. "Sam…" I gasped, and Sam's out of bed, but she didn't move after that. I felt so stupid, being here after six months of having nothing to do with her. It's not that I hated her; that could never happen. I was just confused about how she kissed me at that party and how I thought I loved John and God I shouldn't even be here, in her bedroom. I'm such an idiot. I pushed my hood back and tried to find something to say. "Sam…" I whispered and fell to my knees, sobbing. Sam was suddenly beside me, holding me close and rocking me back and forth, her face in my neck. My arms were around her waist, where they belonged even when I was being stupid._

"_What happened, Carls?" she asked. Everything came flooding back, things I didn't want to remember, but I _had_ to tell her. I knew she wanted to go and kill him, which is why I had her in the tightest grip I could manage, silently pleading her not to leave me. I couldn't take any more time without her in my life. _

_Sam picked me up and carried me to the bathroom, setting me on the toilet. I didn't want her to, but I made no move to stop her as she unzipped my jacket and helping me take it off. My arms were sore from where he had grabbed me over and over again. She held my hands, examining my wrists and arms and then at me, her hands reaching for the hem of my shirt. My brain screamed "no", and she knew it. The look on her face was that of fear and concern, but I was terrified. I couldn't go through this. "Sam…"_

_She didn't move her hands, just stared at me. "Carly, I need to see everything he did to you." I needed to trust her. I _had_ to. But I know Sam, and I know that when she sees my body, she's going to want to go after him even worse than before. Plus, she was my best friend and she was…interested in me. She made that clear at the party when she kissed me, and I didn't know how far she would take her feelings for me. Hell, she could pretend to love me right now and then I'd be in the same situation, running from her. I trusted her more than I trusted John, but still, she wanted something from me, no matter what. What if she decided that I'm too weak to fight anymore and just make things worse? "Do you want me to leave and let you look?" I shook my head and yelped in pain. I had forgotten his hand had been around my throat. Her fists were tight at the hem of my shirt when her eyes finally met mine and I shook my head, resting my hands on her shoulders. I trusted her not to do anything. "Carly…did he…did you get away _before…_?" I nodded and grabbed her hands when she let go of my shirt._

"_Sam…I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm sorry for everything. The way I treated you at the party…you didn't deserve that. I let a guy get between us and look how it turned out. I'm so stupid, and I'm sorry." She shook her head and I fought the tears that were coming. I pulled her hands back to my shirt, and she gently pulled it over my head and over her shoulder to join my jacket. Her eyes were closed, and I wondered if she really didn't want to see the marks, but she needed to. She wanted to. "Sam, you can look." I could see the change in her eyes, the need to kill him. She cleaned the bite marks, and I dug my fingernails into her shoulders. This shit was killing me! I bit my lip to keep from screaming out, and when she was finished she turned the knobs in the shower, checking the water. "Thank you, Sam," I murmured, hugging her. She tensed when I did and I realized she was fighting the fact that I was only half-dressed. Sam kissed my forehead and left the bathroom, closing the door._

_I finished undressing and stepped into the shower, wincing as the water sprayed over my wounds and sensitive skin. The water did help me relax, though, and I tried not to think of what had happened earlier tonight. I could never go back. I needed Sam more than anything now, as my best friend because I had nowhere to go. Eventually I climbed out of the shower and found the clean clothes Sam must have brought into the bathroom. I dried off and dressed and headed back to Sam's room. The blonde stood up and pulled back the blanket for me. I slipped under the blanket and she reached for the other pillow, my hand automatically grabbing her wrist. I needed her to stay with me tonight, to keep the nightmare away._

_Things were going to be different from now on. The moment I curled up next to her with my arm around her waist and my head on her shoulder, I knew that things were going to change. I needed her in every possible way, as my best friend especially. "We're both stupid," I muttered, seconds before I fell asleep._

I woke up screaming, pushing every thought of last night out of my head. I can't deal with it, with what that asshole tried to do to me, and when I felt arms around me, stroking my hair, and a voice whispering in my ear that everything's going to be okay, I cried. I don't know why, but I cried. "Shh, it's okay, Carls. I'm here." And I believed her. She lay back down, pulling me with her, holding me close and rubbing my back. I felt a little better, knowing that she was there for me, but still the nightmare wasn't just in my head. It had actually happened.

I couldn't fall asleep again. Memories haunted me, even if Sam was there to protect me. She couldn't save me from everything. I looked at Sam, who's watching me, waiting for me to go to sleep. "I'm sorry, Sam," I whispered. She shakes her head and pulled me closer, kissing the top of my head.

"You're alright, Carly. I swear I'm going to kick his ass, though. Who the hell does he think he is, trying to take advantage of a girl, his girlfriend even?" And I knew how Sam felt about me, but she didn't do anything that John ever did. Her hands didn't stray, nor did they make me uncomfortable. She didn't try to kiss me again, and I doubt she would, even if I kissed her right now. Why couldn't I have chosen Sam over that asshole? Would we even be here like this if I had?

Morning came faster than I thought, even though I hadn't slept at all after the last nightmare. Sam had stayed awake with me, trying to comfort me, and I felt bad that she had lost sleep for me. I didn't deserve that. And when she mentioned calling Spencer to come and pick me up, I panicked. I didn't want him to see me like this. "No, Sam…I don't want to go home." She just stared at me and eventually sighed, calling him anyway, telling him that I would be staying with her for a few days.

"He said it was fine that you stay with me for a few days, Carls." I nodded and she pulled me into a hug. "You know you can stay here as long as you want and need." It's these times that I never knew why Sam was so forgiving and protective of me. I guess I knew that now. "Are you hungry? When was the last time you ate?" I shrugged because I don't remember. Grabbing my hand, she led me to the kitchen and sat me down in a chair at the kitchen table before going to the fridge. "We have bacon, ham, eggs, leftover pizza…or we have toaster stuff. What do you feel like eating?"

Honestly, nothing. But I couldn't tell her that because she was going to make me eat one way or another. "Bacon and eggs," I muttered and she nodded, instantly going into chef mode, which I've seen her in so many times. She's always so serious in this mode, and if anyone even attempts to touch a single object in the kitchen while she's cooking, she'd inflict pain. I didn't even notice when she set the plate of food in front on me.

She seemed to read my mind when I frowned. "You have to eat something, Carly. I know you're…but starving yourself isn't going to help anything." I nodded slowly and took a bite, just to make her happy. Sam's ringtone blared from across the table and I jumped. The blonde looked at me apologetically and answered her phone. "Hello? Yeah…she's here…What? Are you fucking serious? Hang on." She turned to me. "Do you mind if the nub comes over?" I shake my head vigorously and yelp. "Damn it, be careful! And he's our best friend too, Carls. You know he won't judge." For the next five minutes, it was a staring contest. Finally I nodded. "Come on over, Benson. Just…come in when you get here. She's jumpy."

I waited silently until she hung up. "What's going on?" I asked her. She frowned and stole a piece of bacon from my plate, kissing my forehead before eating it. She didn't answer, just crossed the kitchen to clean up the stove. "Sam…" She looked at me. "Sam, what happened? Why is Freddie coming over?" I knew that Freddie was harmless and wouldn't do anything to me, but right now I couldn't take being around another male.

"He'll explain when he gets here. Carly…we don't want you to be uncomfortable, but we can't walk on eggshells. You have to tell us what will make you feel better, otherwise one of us might say the wrong thing and we don't want you to be upset." I nodded and she held out her hand, waiting for me to decide whether or not to take it. I pulled her into an awkward hug and kissed her cheek. "No matter what, Carls…I'm here."


	3. Break Me, Shake Me

**Disclaimer: No own iCarly.**

**A/N: I've really been slacking on updating my stories, haven't I? Good grief, I'm sorry. This week, I have barely even had time for my soldier, and that's really not good on a long distance relationship. **

**Anyway, the girl that inspired this story, she's been doing okay. **

**Again, this story contains dark material. I do not condone underage drinking or marijuana (period) or unconsensual sex. Blah blah, blah blah. This chapter is told by Freddie's POV, starting the same night as chapter 1. You can choose to skip the italics, but it would help you understand it, since it doesn't have overlapping dialogue or events, aside from the phone call with Sam. **

Chapter 3

Freddie's POV

_I have an insane headache. Tonight is someone's party, but I don't think I'm feeling up for it tonight. I remember when Carly and Sam and I used to hit the parties, both of them drinking enough to feel different, but not enough to forget, and I would be the designated driver. One of us had to be and ever since Carly started hanging out with John, it definitely wasn't going to be her. And Sam's out of the question for staying sober. Occasionally, I _would_ drink, but that was only when we were at Sam's apartment and only because I was allowed to stay there when we drank. _

_Besides, I don't feel like seeing Carly and John tonight. We haven't spoken in six months, and as long as she's with him, I'm not going to talk to her. It's seriously fucked up how she treated Sam, and how she started drinking and getting high and I just…I can't be her friend when she does that. My phone rings and I glance at the caller ID. "Hello?"_

"_Come over, I'm bored," Sam's voice tells me over the phone. I sigh and hang up, grabbing my jacket and taking the elevator down to my car, stopping at Groovy Smoothie on the way. Sam's in the living room when I arrive, channel surfing, and I sit down next to her, handing her the extra smoothie. "Thanks, Benson." We find some low budget movie, which is completely lame and fake, on one of the movie channels and Sam shifts on the couch so her feet are in my lap. I roll my eyes and massage her feet as we watch the movie, both of us groaning at the cheesiest things. "You know, Benson, I know I don't tell you this often, but you're a good friend. Not many guys would come over when they're told to, bring smoothies with them, and then give a girl a foot massage without being asked. And ever since…you know…I'm glad we're still able to hang out together." She smirks. "But don't think this changes how I feel about you. I don't like nubs." _

_I smile. "That's fine, Sam." I sigh. "She'll…I hope it won't always be like this." She nods and sits up, close to me, her head on my shoulder. We rarely get close like this, but it's understood between us that this will never be more than comfort. My cell phone beeps and I read the text message. "Damn…it's my mother. I'll call you later," I tell her and head back to the apartment. Tonight, my mother is crazier than usual, something about having an Aggressive Parents Conference in…I stop listening. She'll be gone until Monday morning, which is all I care about. I say my goodbyes, walking her all the way to her car, and return to the apartment alone. Carly's coming from hers, John's arm around her shoulders, and her eyes meet mine briefly before she looks away. There was something there when she saw me. _

_I lose track of time watching Galaxy Wars, falling asleep a few hours into my marathon, and wake up to my phone beeping. I have twenty-two text messages, all sent over the course of the past eight hours. Six are from John, whom I ignore at first, scanning the other sixteen. Three are from Wendy, four from Gibby, and the other nine are from random people at school. I sigh. Gibby's are probably weird, and Wendy's are probably gossip, and the other nine people I rarely talk to. I start with the random ones and nearly drop my phone. Every single one of them is about Carly. I read Wendy's next, and I was right…there _is_ gossip going around. Gibby's are the same. And John's…I don't want to know what he said. But I read them anyway. The first three ask really personal questions about Carly that I'm not going to mention, nor do I want to think about them. The fourth and fifth ask why I wouldn't answer and that he's going to try and…I feel sick. The sixth one did me in. It confirms the all of the other texts. _

_I lose my lunch in the bathroom and sit against the wall, head in my hands. My opinion of Carly has been really shitty over the past few months, but this is just…I need to ask Sam if she knows. I'm glad my mother left for the weekend; otherwise she would be asking questions and watching over me like a hawk. I would check with Spencer and see if Carly's home. I'm sure she's home right about now, unless she and John have plans. Just the thought of him pisses me off. What if they were drunk and he figured that was all right and…Fuck. I go across the hall and knock on the door to 8C, which opens wide by a tired Spencer. "Hey, Spencer, is Carly here?"_

_He shakes his hand, rubbing his eyes. "Sam called and said she was staying over there for a few days. Why? Is something going on?" I shake my head and he sighs, closing the door as I return to my apartment. Why would Carly be over at Sam's, after all she put the girl through for the past six months? I remember the texts. Calling Sam was the only way to make sure._

_Dialing Sam's number, I pace my living room and count the rings in my head. She picks up on the fourth one. "Sam, is Carly there?" She is. "Look, there's something going on. There are rumors about her, things I'm not going to repeat over the phone. John's been…saying things." I sigh. "He says that he and Carly…Can I come over? This is better said in person." She's silent for about five minutes before she finally tells me to come over and to just walk in. I wonder what she means by 'Carly's jumpy…'_

Carly looks absolutely terrified. She and Sam are on the couch, enough room for both Spencer and me to sit between them if he were here, and Carly's curled up with her knees under her chin. She's wearing a jacket, only her bare hands and face visible. She's been crying. What the fuck happened last night? Sam glances at Carly, holding out her hand and leaving it between them, as if she's letting Carly choose whether or not to take it. She doesn't and Sam drops it. "Okay, Benson, what is going on?" Sam demands. Apparently she's not happy with me here while Carly's…not herself.

I sigh, wondering how to break this to them without Sam killing me. "Word on the street is that…Carly Shay is…_easy_," I tell her, which is the wrong thing to say. Before I can blink, she's standing inches away from me, my shirt collar clenched in her fist, and she appears murderous. "I'm just…they're not my words…they're…you know…_his…_" Carly squeaks and Sam glances at her. "Sam, what happened? Why are you guys…"

"I swear to God I'm going to kill him as soon as I see him. No, I'm going to kill him right now." She lets go of my shirt and moves to pass Carly, who seems to be trying to disappear into the couch. "I'm going to rip him apart, limb by limb and make sure he'll _never_ be able to do that to any other girl…"

"Sam…" Carly whispers and grips the bottom of Sam's shirt and pulls her down onto the couch next to her. Their eyes meet and they're silent for a few minutes before the blonde finally sighs and nods. I raise my brow, but I'm not surprised. Sam finally told me about what had happened at the party, when she had kissed Carly, and that she still felt the same. She'd do anything for Carly. Carly opens her mouth, as if to speak, but she has this frightened expression, like I can't be trusted.

Sam speaks instead. "What else is that bastard saying?" She really seems to hate John. Maybe she's just pissed off because Carly was with John in the first place. After all, he's the reason she completely changed. I realize I still don't have an answer for why Carly's here. Maybe she came here after she and John…to talk to Sam. Sam's expression was homicidal again, and I remember I haven't answered her. "Benson…"

"Can you answer my question first? I don't know what's going on and Carly…Carly looks like she doesn't want me here. Sam, what the hell happened? Why _is_ Carly here? Why isn't she saying anything? Is it me? Is it John?" Carly cringes at the name mention. So it _does_ have something to do with John. "Carly…did you…" She shakes her head violently and howls in pain. Sam groans and cups her chin, turning her face to hers. She mumbles something and Carly nods slowly. "Why is she…?"

Sam growls at me. "Will you shut up with the fucking questions before you scare Carly? She's already been through enough." She sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "Last night, a while after you left, she showed up. She did _not_ sleep with that fucking asshole, Benson. Whatever you've heard, forget it." I nod and she looks at Carly, muttering something to her. The brunette nods and covers her ears, assuring Sam that she can't hear us. "He _tried_ to rape her, Freddie. She has bruises…all over her body. You notice that she's in pain when she shakes her head like that. He tried to strangle her and have his way, but she ran. She doesn't want you to see her like this, nor does she want you around right now because you're…you know…a guy. The last one she trusted hurt her. I know she can barely be near me without freaking out…just because of how I feel about her." She glances at Carly, who has shut her eyes. "I want to kill him for doing this to her. And what's worse is he's spreading around that he…it's sick." I nod. "Don't take it personally. Just…help me get rid of him. If he goes to jail, he'll get out and he'll go after Carly and I can't let that happen."

I sigh. "If she can barely be around you, Sam, how do you expect to help her? Are you going to prove that you don't feel that way about her? Are you going to convince her that you don't want to be with her, that it doesn't drive you insane not to be able to hold her, that you're insanely in love with her."

"I never said that I was insanely in love with Carly, Benson. Don't make shit up. And the only way I can help her is to prove that I'm not like fucking _John_ and that I'm not going to take advantage of her." Carly's crying, her ears uncovered, and I realize we didn't even make sure she wasn't listening to us. Fuck. Sam sighs and turns to her. "Carly, I'm sorry. I didn't…we shouldn't have been talking about it." She hesitantly holds out her arms and Carly collapses into her as soon as she does. Sam keeps her arms around Carly's shoulders, not moving her hands.

I sigh. They don't need me here, especially with the state Carly is in. Sam's eyes meet mine and I nod, leaving the apartment. The next time Sam and I see John…it's over.

**A/N: Now Freddie wants to kill John. Will Carly ever be okay? (Possibly) Will Sam get revenge? (Do you have to ask?)**


	4. I Can't Hear You

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

**A/N: Okay, this chapter isn't as long as the previous 3. It's actually just building up for the next 2 chapters. Because according to you guys, John needs to be taken down. And I saw a mention of barbed wire and hot pokers? :) The next 2 chapters are the preparations and then the plan. Since I've succeeded in making John seem like the devil he is (and can't in real life...) then I'm going to make the plan as incredible as possible for you guys. **

Chapter 4

Sam's POV

I wake up on the couch, Carly stretched out on top of me, her face buried in my neck. I don't even remember falling asleep, let alone Carly falling asleep. I raise my arms over my head, stretching as much as I can under her weight and wrap my arms around her waist, my fingers brushing against bare skin when her shirt and jacket had moved upward during her sleep. She shivers and her arms tighten around my neck, her breath hot against my skin. I move my finger along her exposed skin and she shivers again, holding on tighter. Before I can try again, she's flailing, her elbow catching me in the nose and I groan, cursing under my breath and grabbing her wrists. Apparently this makes things worse because she struggles, her knee crashing into my stomach. I groan in pain at the unexpected hit and let go of her.

"Carly, for the love of God, please wake up," I beg, clutching my stomach. Usually it wouldn't hurt but when Carly's asleep she's strong as fuck. "Carly, Carly…come on…" I think of ways I can wake her, but the only things are either to hurt her…or kiss her…and I'm not going to do that to her. I twist, grabbing her shoulders and falling off the couch. She lands on her back with a groan and I freeze with my face in her neck. She's shaking beneath me, her hands between us pushing against my chest. I pull my head away to look at her face, but something red catches my eye. Shit, she made my nose bleed. My eyes trail upward toward her eyes and I realize she's staring at me, crying. "Carls…you had a nightmare…I…"

She grabs handfuls of my shirt and pulls me closer than I already am, my lips accidentally connecting with her chin. I can probably add a busted lip to my list of problems now. "I'm sorry," she sobs. I just lie there, waiting for her to shove me away. "I'm so…_fucking pathetic_…He…"

"Carly, stop, just hush. You're not pathetic. If anyone's pathetic, it's that _bastard. _I'm going to make him pay for what he did for you and then you won't have to worry about him anymore. _He_'s the one who's fucking pathetic, trying to take advantage of his girlfriend while she's not in the right state of mind, let alone at all. People like that…they don't deserve the good things in life." My eyes meet hers. "You're my best friend above anything else, Carls. I don't care if you never return my feelings, I'm not going anywhere." I sit up, pulling her up with me, and she curls against me on the floor, her head on my shoulder.

Neither of us spoke, the silence a blanket in the air. Her arm wound around mine and her hand rested between my wrist and my thigh, her fingers tickling the inside of my wrist, where my veins were visible, and I fight myself not to look at her. I'm afraid that if I do, she'll close up again and I won't be able to sit this close to her. The house phone rings and she tenses. I sigh, kissing the side of her head before getting to my feet and grabbing the phone from the base on the table by the door. It's from a number I'm all too familiar with, and it plants an idea in my head. "Who am I speaking to?" a male voice asks before I can speak. Typical Puckett paranoia.

"Hey…it's me, Sam…"

Carly's POV

Sam's talking so quietly into the phone that I can't hear her. She glances at me every few minutes, as if expecting me to freak out or run away and finally she nods, saying her farewells into the phone and hanging it up. I want to ask her who she was talking to, but the expression on her face told me not to do so. She goes to the kitchen and grabs two sodas, opening one bottle and handing it to me. She presses a few buttons on her phone, which I assume means she's sending a text, and she drops onto the floor next to me, her shoulder to mine and her legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles.

Before she woke me up, I'd had a nightmare. It hadn't started out that way, though. At first, Freddie, Sam, and I were walking home from school, talking about something that had happened in one of our classes, and Sam was holding my hand. But she wasn't standing too close to me. In fact, we were so far apart that Freddie could have stood between us, instead of on the other side of Sam, but her hand was still holding mine. She looked at me with the brightest grin and just when I thought she was going to pull me to her, I felt something cold brush against my lower back. A hand covered my mouth and I realized as the object brushed against my lower back again, that it was a knife. I swing my elbow backwards, catching the person in the face, and tried to run. They caught me and I kick my knee up, catching the faceless captor in the stomach. He grabbed me and pinned me to the ground and I struggle to get free.

It was only Sam in the end, and I had hurt her. I'm a horrible person, causing my best friend pain, but haven't I been doing that all along? Ever since I had been hanging around…_him_…I let Sam go and all because of some stupid kiss. Of all the things to end a friendship, I had to freak out about _that_. She has to hate me. There's no reason why she couldn't. She already feels sorry for me, which is why she's here with me instead of kicking me out, but she hates me. She probably thinks I really deserved this and she's just acting like I can trust her.

The blonde object of my thoughts turns to me, holding out her hand. I hesitate before taking it, her fingers slipping between mine. She keeps our hands between us, her grip loose. She says she doesn't care if I reciprocate her feelings, but when she does things like this I can't help but wonder just how much it actually does hurt her that I don't. At least...I don't think I do…No, I can't think like that. _Everyone's the same. They want one thing and they'll say and do anything and everything to get it._ Her expression is pained and I realize she knows I don't trust her. She lets go of my hand and scoots away from me, taking a drink.

Her cell phone beeps and she reads the text message, replying to it. I wonder who it is, but then Freddie's name comes to mind. Of course she would be texting him. After all, they've gotten closer and I'm…I'm just the pathetic girl who chose her stupid boyfriend over her best friends. No, I'm less than that. I'm not pathetic, I'm absolutely horrible and I don't deserve them. I've fucked up beyond words and they both know that. _I_ know that. I decide to ask her anyway. "Sam…who are you texting?"

She looks up at me, concern written over her face. "Freddie…he wanted to know how you were doing and I told him I would keep him updated, just in case." She sighs. "Look, Carly, I understand that you're having difficulty trusting anyone, but I swear on my love of bacon that I will _not_ do what he did. If you don't believe me, strike me down. Beat the hell out of me. Whatever it takes for you to be happy again, just do it." I can't. She shakes her head sadly. "If I was like him, Carls…I wouldn't put myself through this for you."

Freddie's POV

_Carly's closed me off again. _Sam's text repeats itself in my head and I drop my phone onto my bed before going into the bathroom and turning on the shower. Through the warm water, I think about my brunette best friend, broken by something some asshole did…or tried to. Sam's trying everything she can to bring Carly out of this shell, but every time she gets close to getting her to open up and let her help, Carly clamps shut again, nearly chopping off Sam's fingers in the process.

She told me about the plan that she discussed with her…relative. It all seems like it will work, but I'm going to be doing some serious acting and holding back. I don't know what's worse, seeing my best friend completely broken like this or holding back from committing murder. Sam would easily agree that it's the first one. No matter what she says, I know she still has feelings for Carly, and she's going to do everything she possibly can to show Carly that she's being honest with her intentions. I turn off the water and step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist and returning to my room, gathering clothes to wear.

My phone beeps and I read the new text message. _On some level she believes me, but she doesn't trust me completely. This hurts, Benson. _I reply and dress in the clothes I just threw on my bed. _By the way…Carly is fucking strong when she sleeps…_ I'll assume Carly did get some sleep, and that hopefully Sam did as well. They're going to need it, because with this plan…there's going to be a lot of risks.

**A/N: Anyone want to take a guess at who Sam was talking to on the phone? **

**Next chapter you'll _really really really _hate John... :)**

**Review, please. Tell me what you hope will happen. I will take all forms of torture into consideration, but I can't make promises. **


	5. Pretend Everything's Okay

**Disclaimer: I wish.**

**A/N: Fried mushrooms are good. On that note, I am soo sorry for not updating this for exactly 2 weeks. Yes, I keep track because you guys mean a lot. School's been crazy lately and with 'Tangible' going the way it is, I've been trying not to lose my mind. I've got 'Tangible' in progress, this going, midterms next week and the week after, I think I might be failing Psych and Environmental Science, and with all the family issues...blahs. I'm whining. ****On the bright side, my soldier is coming home from deployment in about 3 months. *happy dance***

**This chapter contains Freddie and Sam's POVs, along with derogatory language. Believe me. It was hard to write. **

Chapter 5

Freddie's POV

Monday is my least favorite day of the week. It's the beginning of a school week, the first of five long and agonizingly slow days. Monday also seems to be the day that teachers are the worst, as if we ruin their weekend or something. Carly stayed with Sam at the Puckett apartment, something about not wanting people to see her broken. Sam actually wanted to go to school, but Carly didn't want to be alone and Sam does whatever Carly wants her to. So I'm here alone to start the plan. Sam figured that because I'm a guy and I'm friends with Carly I can talk to John and pretend to be all buddy-buddy with him. It's going to be difficult because I want to beat the shit out of him for even knowing Carly.

"Freddie, are you in there?"

I shake my head and look at Gibby, who's working his way through an apple. I realize I'm leaning against my locker, staring off at some distant object that I can't even make out from here. "Yeah, Gibby, what were you saying?"

Gibby sighs. "I asked if you'd heard from Carly. John's looking for her." I raise my brow. Why would he be looking for her? "Did you hear what happened? _They did it._"

I want to tell him he's wrong, that Carly did no such thing, but I can't deny it right now. I can only act surprised. "Really? I thought Carly had more self-respect than that." Gibby's confused. "Well, it's just…you know, it's _Carly._ She was never one to do something like that, even if they've been dating for six months."

Gibby shrugs. "Well, she's been drinking and smoking, so maybe she changed?" He shakes his head. "Dude, I don't like the new Carly…I wish she had reacted differently." I frown. What did he mean by that? The bell rang before I could ask. "Do you know if Sam's coming to school? She's been freaking me out lately."

I shake my head. "Nah, she's sick today. Or she's pretending to be sick. Either way, she's not here." He nods and leaves for class. The morning passes pretty quickly and I decide to talk to John at lunch. My phone vibrates with a text from Sam, asking if we're good yet, and I reply, heading to the cafeteria. John's alone at a table, looking at his cell phone. I slide into the seat across from him. "Hey, John, I missed the party. I had a stomach virus. You and Carly?"

Something flashes in his expression before he looks up at me and grins. "Yeah, man. We hooked up at the party." He returns his attention to his cell phone and I see scratches on his hands. Apparently I stare for too long because he notices. "My mom got a cat yesterday, and the fucking thing loves to scratch."

I want to hit him for lying, mostly because even if I didn't know what he had done, those are fingernail scratches. "So where is Carly anyway?"

He shrugs. "She texted me this morning, saying she was sick." He glances up at me. "So where's that bitch, Puckett? Aren't you usually with her?" My fist clenches under the table. "I mean, you guys spend so much time together, I'd say you're dating, but after that shit she pulled when she kissed my girlfriend, it turns out she doesn't like dick. Who'd have thought Puckett would be a fucking dyke?" I ball my other fist and stare at the table. "Seriously, when you're together, does she tell you about all the hot girls she sees?"

"Dude, shut up. Sam's…" He looks at me. I have to say something. Sam, forgive me. "If she didn't like chicks, I'd probably hook up with her."

John smirks. "Well, yeah, she's fine as hell. Who wouldn't want to fuck a chick like her?" I have to swallow every single bit of self-respect I have for myself. Sam said to pretend, no matter what. And right now is a "no matter what" situation. "You should hook up with her." I shrug. He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, man. I'll do it then. I'm getting tired of Carly. Six months with her is enough." I raise my brow. "Come on, you were with her for what, not even a week before you broke up with her? She doesn't know how to have fun. I have to talk her into letting loose. It's fucking tiring."

"You're going to do it in person, right?"

He laughs. "Yeah, like I want to listen to the bitch cry." The bell rings. "Tell Puckett I'll hit her up later." I watch as the asshole leaves and sigh, pulling out my cell phone. _Dialing Sam…_

Sam's POV

Carly and I are sitting on the couch, her head on my shoulder and her arm wound around mine. We're watching some lame comedy, which I'm hoping the stupidity of it will cheer her up, when my cell phone vibrates. After she freaked out the past few times, I've learned to keep my phone on vibrate. Freddie's calling. Of course. "Hey…"

"I'm sorry, Sam. What I have said today, I hope you can forgive me."

"Benson…chill, nub." I pull away from Carly and point to the kitchen. She nods, and I leave her side, moving to the other room and leaning against the counter. "I'm guessing you talked to the asshole. What all did he say?"

"He started saying shit about you being a…you know." I grit my teeth. "Then he said he's going to try and hook up with you. And then he started talking about Carly. He's going to break up with her, since he obviously doesn't know that it's already over. I…I had to…"

"Just spit it out. I promise I won't hurt you over it." I _did_ tell him to pretend. If that meant talking shit about one of us, then so be it.

"I said that if you didn't like chicks, I would hook up with you." I laugh. Seriously? "I didn't…I would never…I think I'm going to be sick." The line ends and I frown. Benson's never been good with talking shit. I wouldn't be surprised if he _was_ puking his guts out.

"Sam…" I poke my head into the living room and look at Carly. "I'm hungry…" I nod and fix a ham sandwich for her, handing it to her and sitting down. She scarfs the sandwich and returns to her previous position at my side. I rest my cheek against the top of her head and her hand slips into mine, her fingers threading through mine. "I'm sorry I'm so…I'm just sorry. You shouldn't have to take care of me."

"Carly, you're fine. Don't be sorry. It's not your fault he's a bastard, and as much as I'd love to go and kick his ass or kill him, how you're holding up is important to me. Besides, with you I won't end up in jail…" Going to jail would be worth killing John, but it would also mean leaving Carly alone and she's not in the right mental and emotional state for that. She pulls away from me and goes into the bathroom, and I sigh. What did I do this time? I rest my head on the back of the couch and listen for the bathroom door.

Fifteen minutes or so passes before there's a weight in my lap and arms around my neck. "Sam…Are you awake?" she whispers. I nod slightly and before I can open my eyes, her lips are on mine. She's hesitant as she moves her mouth against mine, and I barely react. My hands are at my side, in fear that if I touch her, she'll be afraid and move away. The ships in my head are trapped in a whirlwind as she kisses me, and when she finally pulls away I open my eyes. "I…"

I shake my head. I would love to sit here and kiss Carly until I can't breathe anymore, but I can't…not right now. She needs a net, and I'm here for that, but she's latching onto me. "No, Carly…"

"But…"

"Listen, Cupcake, you're not thinking. You're still afraid of John and what he did to you and technically, in your state of mind I would be taking advantage of you, whether you start it or not." I sigh. "You're trying to get over it, but forcing yourself to like me like that isn't going to help. Both of us will end up hurt in the end." Carly buries her face in my neck and cries. I slide my arms around her waist loosely, giving her the option of running away, but she clings to me.

My phone vibrates with a text and I read it where Carly can't see it at all. _We get to kill him, right?_ I wonder what the fuck the bastard is saying or doing now.


	6. Count Me In

**Disclaimer: If you don't know by now...**

**A/N: I'm on a roll tonight...This is the third thing I've uploaded. So sorry for making you wait 2 weeks...again. I have been dealing with a lot. But here it is.**

**Warning: Most of this chapter actually happened. The only thing that didn't was the conversations. **

**Promise: You WILL hate John. But don't worry. ;) (Although it's not the best part...that's next chapter...)**

Chapter 6

Carly's POV

Sam and Freddie had been talking to each other a lot more in the past few days than they have in the past. Spencer called after Freddie called Sam to ask me if I was alright and why I hadn't gone to school. I had come up with some lie about how Sam and I had ended up sleeping in because the alarm didn't go off. He seemed to accept it, only asking next when I was coming home. I didn't want him to see the bruises on my body, so it would be a few days.

Today, though, Sam seemed to be even more pissed off. She was fine before Freddie called, so I can't help but think that it had something to do with his phone call. Then again, it could be partially my fault for kissing her out of the blue and trying to erase my stupid thoughts and actions for the past six months. She hadn't kissed back, which means she was either being honest and didn't want to take advantage of me or she didn't want me.

I'm still sitting on Sam's lap, holding onto her as if she's going to leave me, but she doesn't seem to mind. She started drawing circles on my lower back through my shirt about fifteen minutes ago, but she won't do much else. Maybe she was right, though. I'm trying to force myself to reciprocate her feelings, to forget about John and everything he did. But I'd be lying if I said I don't feel anything toward Sam. I ran straight to her after John tried to…I can't finish the thought because the dam opens and I'm sobbing into her neck again, and I feel so fucking pathetic.

"Sh, Carls…it's okay…" she whispers into my hair, and I'm so stupid for even attempting to like Sam. She deserves so much better than me, someone who isn't broken, who hasn't been damaged at all, someone who never has to pretend they don't love her. "Benson's coming over soon. Do you want him to know you've been crying all day?" I shake my head. "Come on then, let's go wash your face." I nod and she stands, putting me on my feet. In the bathroom she wets a washcloth and washes my face. She finishes and kisses my forehead. "You're beautiful, Carly…" I want to cry again, but I don't. I can't stand that I'm hurting her.

"Sam, I…I'm sorry…I'm a mess. You don't…you should be with someone who doesn't hurt you."

She frowns. "You don't get it, do you? Carls, I like you. I kissed _you_ at that party. I wanted to be with _you._ If I had wanted anyone else, I could have just gone off with someone. But no, I didn't. And I could care less if I get hurt. People get hurt when they care about someone. That's just life. The only thing I'm concerned with is you and whether or not you're going to be okay."

I could hear the door open in the other room. "Sam, Carly, are you guys here?" Freddie calls, followed by the sound of the fridge door opening and closing.

"Benson, keep your nubby hands away from my fridge!" Sam yells. She kisses my forehead. "We're going to talk. Will you be okay watching TV without me?" I shake my head. "Carls…"

"I want to listen. Please…I want to know what you're planning to do." She frowns. "I'm not stupid, Sam. There's nothing else you and Freddie would talk about that you don't want me to hear. So either you're planning on killing John or you're talking about me."

She hesitates. "Alright, fine, but just know that Benson and I are set on this. There's nothing that you can say that will stop us." I open my mouth to protest, but she shakes her head. "_We_ won't get in trouble for this. My Uncle Carmine has guys that know what they're doing." It figures she would bring her uncle into this.

"Sam…"

She kisses my forehead again, her hand finding mine. "Come on, there's a nub waiting for us." Freddie was sitting on the couch, waiting for us, a root beer in one hand. "Who said you could take from my refrigerator, Benson?"

He smirks. "I bought you more, so technically these are mine."

Sam rolls her eyes. "Okay, whatever. Anyway, we have things to discuss." I squeeze her hand. "And Carly wants to listen." Freddie stares at me for the longest time before Sam finally speaks again. "She knows, nub. She thinks she can handle it, but don't…"

"Sam," I say, and she looks at me. "I don't care what you say. I just said I wanted to listen."

Sam nods and sits on the couch, pulling me with her. "Where should we start?" Apparently Sam looks at him a certain way because he nods. "Carly, John is going to break up with you, but it's not going to be in person. He doesn't know the relationship is over, so you'll be okay, right?" I nod. "He also said that he's going to try and hook up with Sam." I figured as much. If he couldn't get me, he'd go for her.

"That could work to our advantage. As it stands, Benson just has to be his friend no matter what he says. So far, our little tech nerd here has admitted to wanting to hook up with me if I was straight." Freddie flushes. "Oh relax. I'm not going to hit you. The point is Fredward's part of the plan is to be a jerk as well. He's going to help John hook up with me, or so John will think. Benson's going to lie like a rug. That is, if he doesn't get sick about it." She raises her brow at Freddie, who shrugs.

"Are you ready to hear the next part, Sam? I didn't get a chance to tell you when I was at school." Sam nods. "Well, after lunch, I called you about what was said, and when I was heading for class…late…I saw John in the bathroom. He was…he was having sex with one of the cheerleaders. Apparently she's been his girlfriend for a year. And she had no idea about Carly. She broke up with him then and there, but he just shrugged it off and said whatever."

I clench my fist, and Sam notices. She pulls her hand from mine, flexing her fingers. "Damn, Carly, try not to break my hand."

I frown apologetically. "So when is this plan supposed to take place?" They shrug. Sam would have had a plan by now, but why doesn't she? "I have an idea." They don't like the sound of that. I don't either, but I do have an idea that could save both of them from getting hurt by John. "Sam, please promise you'll let me do this and not be overprotective."

"Carly…what…"

I shake my head. "No, listen. I need to do this. You can go too, but don't get too close. It might fit into your plan if you follow my lead." Sam and Freddie exchange glances.

"Let's do it."

Sam's POV

I have no idea what Carly has in mind. She's been quiet since we left my house, her hood covering her face, even in the comfort of Benson's car, and she's refusing to look at me, even though I've tried to get her attention for about ten minutes now. I hope she isn't mad because of what I said, even though she cried for at fifteen minutes about it. Benson parks around the corner from John's street and Carly slips out of the car, disappearing around the block.

After a few minutes, I climb out of the car, following her direction and find her standing in a driveway with John. "I hear you've been fucking cheating on me, you goddamn asshole!" I raise my brow. Carly never used to curse that much. I guess she changed over six months.

"What's it to you, you fucking bitch?"

Carly slaps him across the face, and he shoves her away from him. It takes everything not to beat the shit out of him when she stumbles and falls and I keep my distance. "You know what? We're fucking through, John! Fuck you and every fucking girl who ever had the guts to sleep with your ass." He grabs Carly's wrist and twists it around her back. She cries out in pain, but I can't go to her. She told me not to. As if on cue, Carly looks at me. "What the fuck are you doing here? Have you come to fuck him too? Do you really hate me that much that you want to fuck him?"

John smirks. I fight myself. "Yeah, that's exactly why I'm here!" I shout at her. "You humiliated me at a fucking party and I'm done. I fucking hate you." The tears are there. _Don't look at the tears_. He lets go of her wrist and kicks her away from him. He's going to get what he deserves. I turn to John and swallow the bile in my throat before going to him, throwing one arm around his neck and bringing his face to mine. And honestly, I hate boy kissing. He's too rough, nothing like what I want. I imagine myself kissing Carly, even though it's nothing that I can feel, and John's hands are roaming. The bastard doesn't even care that we're in his driveway where the whole world…and Carly…can see us.

Thankfully, John is finally ripped away from me and I open my eyes in time to see a guy punch him out. Two hits knock the bastard unconscious and the guy and his friend drag John away with a nod to me. I look to Carly, who's in tears, and kneel next to her, kissing her forehead. "I'm so sorry, Carly…I didn't mean any of it." She nods and I glance toward the end of the street, where Benson is standing. "Go with Freddie. Tell him to take you home. I'm going to go and watch. There's unfinished business."


	7. Confessions and a Beatdown

**Disclaimer: If you haven't already seen the disclaimer of the other 100 chapters I've posted in all my stories...I'll say it again. I don't own.**

**A/N: Alright, 4th and final thing I'm posting tonight. This chapter, I think, is the shortest in this story. But that's because either this would have been the last, or the next one would be the last. Yeah, that's right. One more.**

**You will Love this one...I hope.**

Chapter 7

Sam's POV

I stare at John in the back of the van, barbed wire around his wrists and ankles. We had gagged him with a rag so he couldn't speak or yell out, even though no one would hear him where we were going. The van stops and the back doors open. I don't ask their names, they're unimportant, but they know I'm a Puckett. They'll do whatever I say. I want them to do whatever they want, and I'm going to do what I want. And I hope they kill him.

The guy carried our victim through the warehouse and set him in a chair, wrapping more barbed wire around his shoulders, chest, and the chair. If he struggled, he'd be cut to shit. I nod to the other guy, the one that had just followed us in, and he grabs a homemade tattoo gun, one that I know was going to hurt the bastard, turning it on. I rip the gag out of the asshole's mouth and kick John in the leg. "Wake the fuck up!" I shout at him. He doesn't wake up. I look to the guy who'd punched him. "You didn't kill him, did you?" He shakes his head, and I punch John in the face. "Wake up, you fucking asshole."

"What the fuck?" he mutters, and I punch him again. "What?" he yells. I punch him again. "What do you want?"

"What do I want? I want you to fucking suffer, asshole. You tried to rape my best fucking friend and because of you she can barely be around me without worrying that I'm going to do the same. And then you go off fucking other chicks that you've been dating for god knows how long, _and_ try to hook up with me, and you expect me not to kick your fucking ass? Do you _know_ who I am? I'm a fucking Puckett, you son of a bitch. I don't mess around, and I certainly don't have time to deal with fucking pricks like you. You fucking homophobic…" punch, "lying…" punch, "cheating…" punch, "rapist."

My knuckles are cracked open but I don't care. He has to be hurting worse. One of the guys pulls me away from John and in my state of mind, I almost swing at him, but I force myself not to. The other guy steps forward, tattoo gun in hand, and sets to work. John screams from the pain in his forehead and I feel like throwing up, but I can't. I have to be strong about this. "Keep struggling and it'll only hurt worse, rapist," the guy next to me says, and I smirk. Let him hurt as much as possible.

"You won't…get away…with this!" John screams, but I just roll my eyes, moving into his sight. "You're just a dyke bitch!" he yells. "You're the reason Shay's such a fucking dumb dyke bitch!" I frown. "All she ever fucking did was talk about you! She wouldn't fucking shut up!" So Carly did think about me the whole time she was with this asshole. "You turned my fucking girlfriend into a fucking…" I punch him so hard the chair falls backward. "She wanted to fucking say yes," he says, glaring at me. "When you fucking kissed her…she was going to say yes."

"Why didn't she? Did _you_ have something to do with it?" I kick him in the ribs.

"She didn't know how to fucking react. She was scared, you fucking bitch." I kick him again and he yells in pain. "I fucking hate you!"

"Why did you try to fucking rape her? And don't say you didn't. I saw the goddamn bruises. And we have fucking pictures." He glares at me, obviously unfazed by my statement. Let this fucking bastard get raped in prison.

"She wouldn't put out. Fucking bitch never even wanted to drink or get high. So I wanted to teach her how to have fucking fun."

"How? By fucking her? How would you like to get fucked against your will?" I nod toward one of the guys. "He could fuck you." John looks terrified at that. "In prison…they don't take kindly to rapists, especially rapists who fuck with a Puckett. And in my eyes? In my uncle's eyes? Carly's a fucking Puckett, regardless of name." I notice the tattoo isn't finished and pick up the chair so the man can finish. "I'm done here. You guys got it?" The guys nod and I leave the warehouse, screams echoing in my head.

Freddie's POV

I watch as Carly kisses Sam and smile inwardly. Has Carly finally gotten comfortable with Sam? I really want to kill John, but Sam made it clear that when the guys got there she would go. I was to look after Carly, in case anything happened, and that's what I would do. Sam waves at me and Carly kisses her one more time before jogging toward me. The brunette pushes me toward my car and I wonder where the hell this boldness came from. For the past few days she's been so scared and now she's running us around? What the hell?

Carly slides into the passenger seat, hood drawn over her head, and I drive to Sam's. We make our way up to the Puckett apartment together and she goes straight to Sam's room. I help myself to another root beer and settle on the couch, turning the TV on and find whatever movie I'm least likely to fall asleep watching. I hope Sam knows what she's doing and that she's not going to do something that will come back on her. I know anyone who works for a Puckett knows to keep their mouth shut, but still, if she leaves evidence, she'll be leaving Carly behind and Carly doesn't need that.

My brunette friend returns to the living room and sits on the opposite end of the couch, minus the jacket she'd been wearing. "Carly…you know I'm not…"

She stares at me. "I know, Freddie. I just…I wish I hadn't said anything to you and Sam back then, at least not what I did. Freddie, I panicked. I couldn't…all those people…I was scared…" Is she going to tell me what I think she is? "I…"

My phone chooses then to ring and Carly flinches, looking away from me. "Hello?"

"Are you and Carly at my place?" Sam asks, and it sounds like she's been running. Please tell me the cops weren't chasing her. "Benson…Are you there?"

"Yeah, we're here. Is everything alright?" She doesn't answer, and I'm met with a dead line. I hope that means yes. Within five minutes, the apartment door opens and Sam barges in, going to Carly, ignoring me completely.

"Why didn't you tell me, Carly? Why couldn't you just tell me _why_ you ignored me for six months?" If Carly was terrified before, she's petrified now. What did John tell Sam? "Carls…seriously. If I had known that was why, I would have understood, instead of you blowing up at me over it."

"Sam, I couldn't." I'm not needed in this conversation. I move to stand and walk past Carly and Sam, but Sam grabs my shoulder and shoves me back toward my end of the couch. I guess I won't be going anywhere.


	8. Live Without Fear

**Disclaimer: Yeah, totally...nah it was a dream...**

**A/N: So I'm just gonna say, this chapter was so hard to write because it's the end. I know, I'm sad it's over, but it had to end sometime and John getting beaten was the means to end this story. That was what I had built up to and now, I have to finish it. Well...I did finish it. As soon as I posted chapter 7, I started this one, right? Well, it sat there and sat there and I couldn't figure out what to write, so I deleted what I _had _written and restarted and this seemed like a much better direction. (I restarted it about 30 minutes before I finished it? Guess I found the words. xD**

**So again, I want to thank everyone that has been reading this and reviewing and everything. You guys really do make my day.**

**Oh and something in this chapter actually did happen. Recently, I might add. And every single word is the same, except I changed the names to fit this story. Yep, letter time.**

**I apologize for the long Author Note, but this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to write and I felt you should know.**

**Enjoy.**

Chapter 8

Carly's POV

Sam's hands are holding her up as she leans over me on the couch, her face inches from mine. Freddie sits at the other end of the couch, unmoving from where Sam shoved him, and he clearly doesn't want to be here, not when Sam and I are talking about back then, back when she kissed me. Sam glances at him for a minute before finally turning to me again. "You know, Carls, if you were afraid, you could have just told me. You didn't have to blow up at me in front of an entire party, whether they were drunk or not."

"_You_ didn't have to kiss me in front of said party, Sam. I didn't know what else to do, and I was scared because I was with John. I had a boyfriend and you just kissed me out of nowhere. How was that supposed to make me feel?"

"I had feelings for you! I wanted you to know. I know I shouldn't have been so public about it, but I didn't want you to be with him. I wanted you to be with me. I'm sorry that I embarrassed you, and I wasn't even thinking about that when I did it, but I didn't…John wasn't good enough for you. I knew it when he asked you out. There was something about him that I didn't like…"

"Why didn't you just tell me that?"

"You were happy! I didn't want to interfere with your happiness, and I damn sure didn't want you to be mad at me for trying to make you break up with him because then you would have gone on your 'oh, you're just jealous' speeches and I couldn't handle that. I _was_ jealous, Carly, but not of you. I spent six months wondering why the hell he got to touch you at all and I couldn't. Do you have any idea what that's like, to see the two of you at school and everywhere I went?"

"It wasn't exactly a walk in the park for me to see you and not be able to talk to you either, Sam." Sam pushes herself away from the couch, away from me, and passes Freddie. "Sam, where are you going?" She doesn't answer, just slams the front door behind her, and I ignore Freddie, following Sam. She was sitting on the stairs between the third and fourth floors when I finally found her ten minutes later, her arms wrapped around her knees. I sit next to her and slip my arms around her waist, holding her close to me, ignoring the uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. "Sam, I'm sorry…"

She shakes her head. "It's not your fault I'm so stupid, Carly. I'm selfish, wanting you for myself. And now…I can't have you. You're not the Carly Shay you were before."

I kiss her cheek. "I'm still your best friend, Sam…that much hasn't changed. And I'll be over this eventually. I still…I'm scared. When I dream, I see him. I can't shake the thought of him." She nods against my shoulder and I sigh. "I wish things were different, Sam, I really do. I don't want to be like this with you."

A silent hour passes and Sam finally pulls me to my feet, her fingers laced with mine as she leads me back to her apartment. Freddie's still sitting on the couch, this time with a root beer and the TV turned on to the news. John's name is mentioned when we sit down and I stare at the screen. Apparently the men who took him beat him close to death and left him in a ditch. He confessed to attempted rape, the word _rapist_ tattooed on his forehead, and will be sentenced within a week.

In a way, I'm glad that John finally gets what he deserves, but I can't help but feel sorry for him. He faced Sam's anger after committing such an act against me, no matter how she feels about me, and he's still alive. I'm surprised that she didn't kill him, but if she had, she wouldn't be sitting her with me. She'd be thrown in jail, leaving me all alone.

Sam squeezes my hand and smiles weakly. I can finally get over what John tried to do and my fear of it happening again. I know Sam won't be like that, but my guard is still up. I can't drop it until I'm absolutely sure.

_**One Year Later…**_

John's sentence wasn't a long one. Since his father was rich, best friends with the judge and wouldn't hear anything about how his son tried to rape me, he was only in jail for about four months before he was out and given community service. Sam wasn't too happy about that, but I managed to keep her away from him. She still doesn't think it's fair that she could slap someone and get a worse sentence than that. He did manage to have the tattoo removed through a very painful process, which cheered her up to a point.

Sam and I have been working on our relationship, and I have been slowly lowering my wall for her. She hasn't tried to change anything between us or forced me to do anything I didn't want to do, but she isn't walking on eggshells like she was. I'm even comfortable being around Freddie again, although I'm a little on edge when he's around, and I think he knows it. He doesn't talk about certain things that he knows will make me uncomfortable, and he supports my relationship with Sam, even though he still likes me. He has his own girlfriend now, one that Sam approves of and hasn't teased him about.

I'm not sure if she hasn't teased him because she's focused on me or if it really is because she likes her with him.

Today's a Monday, one of the last in our high school lives, and I haven't seen Sam or Freddie at all today. I _have_ seen John today, though, but he's been keeping his distance. I notice that when Sam _is_ around, he tends to hurry away from us, like she's going to beat him to death, and Sam does tense up when he's around. He killed the rumor about sleeping with me and admitted to the students that he did try to rape me, and instantly his status went down the drain. No one wanted to be friends with him after that and every girl he hooked up with hates him now. I do know that if I hear "I'm so sorry he did that to you" one more time I'm going to hit someone.

Sam's hand slips into mine and she leans against her locker. I snap out of my thoughts and close my own locker with a sigh and she frowns. "What's wrong, Carls?"

I shake my head and kiss her. "Nothing, I was just thinking about some things. Everything's fine now." She nods and I smile, kissing her again. "Come on, school's out. Let's go on a date tonight?"

She smirks and pulls me close. "That sounds great. But…there's one thing I have to do first. I'll pick you up at eight?"

I nod and she kisses me one final time before leaving me in the hallway. John comes around the corner before I can head out and we both freeze. And for once I don't feel as though Sam or Freddie should be here to make sure he leaves me alone. I wish he would go away, but at the same time I need this to be over with. Without a word, he reaches into his pocket before holding out his hand to me, and I accept the folded piece of paper. He nods slightly and walks away, hands in his pockets.

I decide to walk back to Bushwell Plaza to give myself time to read and think because without Sam the bus ride is miserable. I unfold the piece of paper a few blocks away from the school.

_Dear Carly Shay,_

_I apologize for everything I have ever done to you. I don't ask for forgiveness because I don't deserve it, not from you. You're an incredible girl and I took advantage of that, treating you as though you were less than you are, like you were property or something. It was wrong of me to do that, and I let myself forget that. I forced you to do things you never should have done, like drink and smoke, and I'm sorry that I tried to take advantage of you that night. _

_Before you stop reading and throw this away, I want you to know why I was such an asshole to you and your friends, especially Sam Puckett. I know that I was stupid for wanting to hook up with her, knowing that it would never happen and that I was going to treat her the same way I treated you and every other girl I have ever been with. I couldn't stand to lose something to another person, like I did to her. Sure, I didn't treat you with respect, I led you to believe that I loved you, and then I turned around and hurt you like that. _

_There was a girl a few years ago. I loved her with everything I had. I know it's cliché, but this girl meant the world to me. She was like you, never did drugs or drank or anything like that and always got good grades. She was the good girl and I was completely in love with her. My father didn't like her, but I didn't know why. One day, she came over to my house and broke up with me, saying that she was leaving me for a girl. _

_I was so torn up about it that I told myself I would never get close enough to a girl like that again. That's why I turned into this asshole that only used girls for sex and you didn't deserve that. None of those girls did. But I managed to go against my word and I got attached. The night I tried to…I was trying to stop myself from feeling something toward you. Unfortunately, it only made things worse. I _tried_ to make sure you wouldn't leave me for Sam…but it didn't happen. Every time you said her name or said you missed her, it felt like you were going to leave me any day. I tried to make you smoke and drink…you seemed to turn into a different person when you did. _

_I lost you the instant Sam kissed you. I knew that, but I didn't want to believe it. And I know you wanted to be with her. I don't even know _why_ you stayed with me, why you didn't do what the girl before you did, why you didn't leave for her. I still don't understand that. _

_I don't expect you to ever talk to me again after what I did, and I don't blame you. I just wanted you to know the truth, even though there's no excuse to be a bastard. Please don't forgive me. I don't deserve it. Just…live your life, with or without Sam, and if you show her this letter, which I'm almost certain you will, please let her know that I regret ever trying to compete with her. I've learned my lesson and this will never happen again. _

_I am truly and sincerely sorry for everything._

_John_

By the time I finish the letter, I realize I'm standing in front of Bushwell Plaza, and Freddie is standing outside of the lobby, waiting for me. He seems worried, but I shake my head. This letter is between John and me and I pity him. After all he had ever done, he had done it because a girl had hurt him. I was pissed, I was hurt, yeah, but he had been tortured by his own device.

It was time to live my life without fear.


End file.
